j a m ;)

Wow, i couldn't believe i actually took time off my assignment to do this post. No idea why there's a strong urge pushing me to actually have some 'sentimental' essay tonight or early in the morning of 12:35 a.m

Today is 4/7/2012

If you've been catching up with my blog (which is incredibly impossible as i never update for friggin long), you would notice there's been a whole long one year i've never posted anything at all. This blog who really USED to be my dailyreminder had actually dead? Not yet i guessed.

June 30 2011 onwards, i would say it had became a huge turning point for me whether its in the aspect of mentality, attitude, appearance or personality. The changes is so strong that i myself eventually felt it. It has both good and bad in those changes and i really do try to change the bad ones. But trust me, it is at utmost difficult to change yourself ESPECIALLY when you forced yourself to. I would say nature really take its course.

Having none of a single clue on how i used to be a very happy-go-lucky, positive and determined person that have actually changed to being a kinda emotional and take things seriously person. Besides, i tends to adapt a bad temper.

I experienced more than just being a regular college students in that July 1st all the way to i would say now. A college student for me is just being happy, enjoying with bunch of mates and sometimes scratching your head for assignments. However, things actually turns into kind of a lesson to me. I THINK.

Those who knows me, i actually YEAH having conflict with people. Argue-ing all the way through the year. I would say it sucks to me and to everyone around me for baring us. I've been too childish and see things in a critical way in the past. I really wanted to apologize sincerely to anyone that i had behave like that to. REALLY REALLY sincerely. I wouldn't say i've completely gotten away from that 'seeing things critically' problem. But i hope at least that improvement was there.

Besides that, i cherished everyone around me that supports me all the way through. Giving me advise even though several times of those advises are made. Still, the advises never stops. I'm truthfully glad for this.Well, i know saying doesn't proved anything but it is true that i feel everything that's given to me.

As times goes by, i tends to see things in a more neutral way now. However, i would say i kind of hated that 'neutral' thing going in me. I hope to have the old Jam, which is ultra cheerful and active. But i wouldn't hate for being who am i now. I knew that there are people who love and support me.

Throwing all these happening incidents aside, i don't know why the thing that bothers me the most is future. I don't know but, feelings are really important for me. I would hate to experience redeveloping feelings. I wish that all the feelings i have now will continue on. I know its hard, but i do pray for it.

Ending this post, i have actually more express but i just can't seemed to type out anything.

Its July again without noticing, 5 more months to another year. In an blink of eyes.

If i have a wish. I would want time to pass slower. Perhaps?